Posts for For the soul Category

Learning to unlearn

For the soul, Parenting - Anupriya kapur - February 22, 2018

Often, I have suspected, understanding life is directly correlated with unlearning a lot of what we have been led to believe. 

The ability of our mind to process life and put it into neat little boxes never ceases to amaze me. Whereas life itself is interconnected at every level. That the mind will trick you is something I ought to know by now. But it still manages to pull one over on me every now and again. 

Over the last few months, I had been receiving a few negative comments about my sponsored posts. Unbeknownst to me, they had apparently had an affect on me and subconsciously I also started looking at sponsored posts as something that was a break in the flow of an Instagram feed which is an honest representation of my life. 

Then came the HDFC campaign, which asked of me to spend time with Kabir everyday for 21 days discovering a new activity. Needless to say, I was happy but I was still looking at it as a campaign. Here I was getting to spend time with my child and share it with the world and I was worried about how it might interrupt my feed. Half way through the campaign I realised how much I actually enjoyed each of those activities and that I had created memories that would stay with me for life.

I had fallen into the trap of my mind yet again!

Once I let go, I realised that in the humdrum of everyday life, homework, house work and my work, we had been existing together and not really spending a lot of time with each other. I got to discover Kabir for the person that he is and our relationship in the manner that it has evolved. His creativity in making Boomerangs. His little eccentricities about peeling vegetables. Our ability to play as a team. His utter and absolute passion and my appreciation of the trampoline park. I never even realised but I never actually worked on making spending time with Kabir a habit!

And to think about it, I might have let go of this campaign because I thought it would feature too much sponsored content. I have always recommended things that I have personally tried and actually enjoyed. Yet, it takes just a few comments for self doubt to set in. I am sure this isn’t the last time my mind has got the better of me but I will keep at it as best as I can.

And here are a few take-aways from actually practicing “It takes 21 days to build a habit challenge” – 

1) I thought I’m spending time with Kabir everyday but it was mostly limited to school homework, projects etc. Now that he’s 10, I had taken his sense of curiosity for granted. I connected with him again at so many levels as he started talking to me about more “cool stuff”.

2) We learned to negotiate reasonably as some activities were as per him and some as per me. One of the activities that I chose was peeling peas. I got nostalgic and remembered how I used to do it for hours, Kabir couldn’t relate to it but had fun anyway and similarly I wasn’t up to jumping in the trampoline park (let me be honest, I was scared to make a fool of myself but I don’t think I have laughed so much in years.

3) It might sound strange that you need to “make it a habit” to spend time with your own child but it works. We take people we love the most for granted and this was a gentle reminder to not to.

4) I realised the importance of playing while staying fit. Children don’t do jump around and do cartwheels in order to be “fit” or “exercise” and it was a big lesson for me. I love CrossFit but subconsciously my idea of it changed. I have started enjoying it even more and take a lot of new movements as play.

5) I was amazed, yet again, at how children let their imagination run freely while we hold ourselves back in the fear of being judged. Instagram has some amazing apps like boomerang and reverse videos and I can’t deny that it was fun to use them in a very creative way.

6) Children forgive easily. Kabir is 10 and it’s still so easy for Kabir to let go of things and move on. No wonder they are so happy. Letting go is the key.

 

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Slow down, you move too fast

For the soul - Anupriya kapur - January 31, 2018

In the last few months, work has suddenly become very hectic. Don’t get me wrong, I am not complaining, rather pointing out an irony. You see, my blogging began from the conversations that I used to have with myself. I translated those into articles and it seemed to have resonated with some people. Now that work and Kabir and growth plans have all spiked in demand at the same point in time, I realised that the conversations with myself had almost dried up. I used to think this was blogger’s/writer’s block and I cannot seem to write anything meaningful. I struggled with this for a while until I discovered that slowing down is one very crucial component that I had been missing. I wasn’t taking time to pause between things and that began affecting me and my work.

However, I had the meaning of slowing down in my head, wrong. It doesn’t and cannot possibly mean to get away from responsibilities and a vacation, it is about taking out some bit of time every single day to soak and reflect. That’s the only way to grow and evolve. I try, even though I keep losing track but find myself coming back to the following –  Continue Reading

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Failure is a good thing

For the soul, Parenting - Anupriya kapur - January 12, 2018

A couple of years back I had noticed a peculiar behaviour in my son Kabir. Every task that he did was divided in to two groups – “I’m good at it” and “I’m not good at it”. He would be frustrated and resist doing “things” he thought he wasn’t good at. He would decide it even before trying the tasks for the first time. It took me time to realise that it was the fear of failure which was stopping him. And when I look back somewhere it was my fear of failure which had trickled down to him. I would only do the things in front of him that I was good at and not let him see the side of me which wasn’t perfect. When I was baking professionally, I never showed him all the icings and cakes gone wrong. When I couldn’t park right (I still can’t), I tried to cover it by making some excuse. Continue Reading

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Joy of Sharing this Christmas with #EnfaClaus

For the soul, Parenting - Anupriya kapur - December 29, 2017

I was recently approached by Enfagrow A+ as they wanted me to be a part of their initiative of spreading happiness this Christmas by gifting toys and storybooks to an NGO (in addition, they will also distribute Enfagrow A+ tins, clothes and educational toys). I was hesitant at first as it involved getting Kabir to give away one of his favorite toys. I was pleasantly surprised when I asked Kabir, he picked up his all-time favourite truck and handed it over to me happily. I can’t deny that I felt really proud. Continue Reading

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Lessons I learned from my mom’s death

For the soul - Anupriya kapur - December 14, 2017

It’s been over a year since I lost my mom. Her death has changed me a lot, in ways I couldn’t ever imagine. We were never close and there was hardly any conversation between us for as long as I can remember. I come from a dysfunctional family and the only thing we knew was, that despite everything, there was love, and may be that’s what kept us grounded and secure. So here I’m writing about the lessons I learned from her death. I know it might seem strange that I’m writing something so close to my heart as a listicle but somehow that’s what helps me clarify my thoughts.

1) You do things for people you love and trust, even if it’s against your very being – I had shared last year how we donated her body for medical research purposes. My mother was an extremely religious person and a staunch believer in rituals. But she agreed to it (of course after much convincing) because it was my father’s wish to do so. I have seldom come across a more rational and practical man than my father. It was her faith in him which made her do so. While my father being a non-believer in rituals, temples and all things God, never stopped her from doing her own thing.  Continue Reading

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Some tips for aspiring bloggers

For the soul - Anupriya kapur - October 31, 2017

I’m writing this post as I get a lot of mails regarding things one needs to do to be a blogger. It has been almost a 3-year journey for me. I was very erratic in publishing my articles in the first year. I used to publish one article a month, sometimes not even that. I used to constantly question why  anyone would want to read what I have to write. Am I adding any value whatsoever. In the last 3 years, I have given up on my blog too many times as well. It’s not easy to put yourself and your life out there. There have been occasions of complete writer’s block and panic. There have been times when I have received little response for the article I have poured my heart into and that’s the most heart-breaking thing. I have cried a lot over it too as I didn’t know anyone in the blogging world with no one to give me direction and I felt helpless. Continue Reading

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#SareeOnMe #WeWearCulture Photo Project with @googleindia @googlearts

Clothes, Fashion, For the soul - Anupriya kapur - September 18, 2017

Google has recently launched their Arts & Culture platform in a big way internationally. A part of its project is #SareeOnMe with Google India in which they wanted to showcase real women who wear sarees. And for me it was just overwhelming to be a part of it. The image would in the calendar to be launched in 2018 and has accomplished women from various walks of life. It has been a very humbling experience to say the least. I settled for the simplest and most inexpensive handloom saree that I have (I bought it for Rs 600 recently). I wanted to use this opportunity to prove that even in its simplest form, a handloom saree exudes elegance which is unmatched. All the pictures have been clicked by Naina Redhu. Continue Reading

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Staycation at Novotel Resorts and Spa

For the soul, Travel - Anupriya kapur - September 15, 2017

Whenever I used tell people that I haven’t ever visited Goa, I got the same reaction as I do when I tell people I haven’t watched Sholay yet! Anyway, finally, the jinx was broken and I got to visit Goa. Better still, I got to visit Goa with my son Kabir. We were invited by Novotel Resorts and Spa for a weekend staycation. And only during the staycation, I realised how much we needed it. It had been two years since we got to travel together and the recent loss of our pet was making staying at home tough. Yet, I was jittery as we were supposed to spend two days together, would Kabir enjoy his little vacation with just me around. Continue Reading

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Old Sarees, New Purpose (Part 1)

Accessories, Clothes, For the soul, Lifestyle - Anupriya kapur - August 22, 2017

I have always loved wearing sarees but I started working towards bringing the saree back when I wrote the article on the 100 Day Saree Pact last year. I found myself wearing sarees and handloom more and more, especially after my mom passed away. I don’t even know if there is any connection (she had stopped wearing sarees as she grew older) but maybe it’s my way of holding on to my roots and memories. And, however insignificant it might be, I decided to work towards promoting it in my own small way through my blog and Instagram. Continue Reading

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You are still a runner

Fitness, Fitness related, For the soul, Running Related Injuries - Anupriya kapur - August 4, 2017

The best part about running as a recreational sport is that it is inclusive. That probably explains its popularity the world over. Anybody can run, it’s that simple. And the more runners I meet, I realise how therapeutic it is and how it forces you to take note of yourself. For me, it was as if I connected with myself for the first time when I started running. Even pregnancy had failed to do that for me. However, nowadays it also comes with a lot of noise and commotion. There is pressure of what races are you signing up for, your finish time, how much you are running in a week etc. It feels good initially as a new runner but slowly the pressure builds up. Of course, it’s great if you want to improve continuously and important to strength train to remain injury free but it’s not ok to constantly compare yourself with others. Continue Reading

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