Posts for Parenting Category

My experience with Rainbow Hospital

Parenting - Anupriya kapur - May 9, 2017

There have been a couple of times that as a blogger I have been given the opportunity to write about hospitals, however, I have not taken it on the basis of no experience. However, when I got the opportunity to write about Rainbow Hospitals, I gladly took up the assignment as I delivered my son at their Banjara Hills, Hyderabad clinic. And honestly, it took me some time to gather my thoughts as it has been over 9 years since I delivered.

I had a very bad experience with the initial two clinics (I don’t remember their names anymore) I visited as I was new to Hyderabad. A part of my pregnancy was spent in Delhi and the gynecologist put me on a high protein diet, the only problem being that it wasn’t from natural sources. Due to extreme nausea, I was having a tough time dealing with protein intake, apart from my regular food. As I wasn’t keeping too well a friend asked me to try Rainbow (at that time relatively new) as it was a specialty mother and child clinic. And I’m so glad that I did. Continue Reading

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Me and my mom guilt

Parenting, Uncategorized - Anupriya kapur - November 22, 2016

I have been very guilty lately. After 7 long years of not working and only nurturing, I had decided that I will work from home so I can be around my son. I tried my hand at commercial baking and didn’t enjoy it as much.  I switched to handling social media content as a freelancer. The work gives me a lot of flexibility and leaves me with enough room for my blog. Sharing my life experiences is what sustains my soul. At the same time, the blog takes a lot from me. I need to attend events for ideas, do shoots and be on the go. I feel guilty about not baking enough, cooking enough, keeping the house beautiful, keeping my accounts updated, the list is endless. On top of that as much as I try, the ‘you-don’t-spend-enough-time-with-me’ remarks from my son kill me. Did I mention that my father says I don’t spend enough time on correcting my son’s spellings, maths and diet! Continue Reading

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Flying Solo

Parenting - Anupriya kapur - July 6, 2016

This is a personal experience and not a sponsored post. 

To let my son take a solo international flight was probably one of the toughest decisions I have taken in recent times. I don’t want to sound melodramatic but it’s not easy to let go off those tiny hands in this big world.  And since it was a beautiful experience, I decided to write about it. Continue Reading

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Little World for Little Ones

Parenting - Anupriya kapur - June 6, 2016

I was sold the moment I heard about a mini city built for kids where they get to have fun by role playing and by getting to do all the things that adults do. There are no video games and no rides. Upon arrival (because it’s built like an airline arrival counter), we bought our tickets and were handed our “boarding passes” and went to the immigration counter to check-in to KidZania. At immigration, each of us were given an electronic tag, which they scanned every time Kabir did an activity and the tag also helps the mom or dad to track their kid(s). Continue Reading

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Get your brave on

Fitness, Fitness related, For the soul, Parenting - Anupriya kapur - January 2, 2016

When I became a mother 8 years back, it was a validation of my existence. It was as if I got to justify my right to occupy space on this earth in that very moment. And I lost myself in motherhood. The best way to describe it would be that I started “decaying in the gentle state of happiness” (quote borrowed from my favourite book). The only thing was that I wasn’t happy. I was making myself believe that I was. This realisation made me restless and I didn’t know what to do. To a lot of people, my life might have even seemed ideal. But I was being pulled in to a deep dark hole of misery and self pity. And I started finding comfort there. I saw myself as completely worthless once my son started spending more time in school and the park. I became extremely negative and didn’t think I was capable of anything including being a good mother.

Running saved me a lot of times but an injury took that away from me (for a few months) and that’s when I hit rock bottom. I realised that my home baking venture which had started as love for baking turned into waiting for appreciation from others. So when anyone smirked at my idea of baking as a business, it deeply affected me. I had never believed in New Year resolutions till then and was one of those people who make light of it. But two years back on this day, I decided that the only way to save myself was to turn my life around. I didn’t share my resolve with anyone as I was scared of being made fun of. No one took me seriously in any case. I was supposed to be this happy-go-lucky person with whom nothing could ever go wrong and could never be lost. It was a tough call to give up baking. I started meditating at home for 20 minutes on my own every day (Pranic Healing). I used to think meditation is a fancy thing rich people did. I don’t think I have ever been more wrong about anything in my life. I started forgiving people and myself for everything wrong that had happened in the past. I cried a whole lot. But I felt strangely light. It’s tough to describe that feeling unless you go through it yourself. I started looking at myself and situations more objectively, became less critical of myself and prepared to fail.

Around that time, I also started my blog with the hope of inspiring women like me to do something for themselves and to save themselves. The blog got noticed in more than one way and I started getting a bit of content writing work. It is a constant struggle to write when you are low but I didn’t want to give up this time, this was my only chance. I started receiving mails/messages from a lot of people(men and women both) that my blog is inspiring them to take up fitness/running and to revive their passion, which inspired me further to keep at it. I also realised that with so much happening I started to become a more understanding mother. And now all I want for my son is to feel loved and create his own journey.

In 2015, I got a lot of content writing work, I blogged more frequently, took good care of my son, have done several races (injury free!) – 2 full marathons, several half marathons, several 10kms, paced at Bengaluru marathon and my blog got covered in a national daily 🙂

I might not have achieved anything significant but enough to keep me going. At times, I feel a strong pull to go back in to the dark hole and trust me it’s very tempting but I have managed to kick its butt on most occasions and will continue to do so.  But it all started with one resolution on a cold winter evening and some very supportive people.

You might also like https://momontherun.in/a-33-year-old-monk/

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The Parent Trap

For the soul, Parenting - Anupriya kapur - December 24, 2015

Every now and again there are moments that define us. These may not be massive, life-altering events. They could be everyday occurrences that throw light on who we are or what we have become. The realisation is as immediate as it is striking. I had one of those days recently which I know will alter some aspects of parenting for me forever.

Kabir was out for a picnic with his friends yesterday. It was a nice sunny winter afternoon. He was practically on his ripstik for 3 hours out of 4. Instead of coming back home from the picnic, he decided to play for 3 more hours in the society park. I don’t think there is anything better than free play, that too outdoors, for a child, so I let him be. He came home tired and devoured a full plate of chicken fingers at such speed that I was surprised he left the bones. Then came the tough part of getting him to do his dreaded Hindi homework and practice for dictation. Kabir hates Hindi and I suck at it so I happily passed on the task to my dad. But you can’t ever escape being a mother, can you?12376122_10153128874970388_834694563545511075_n

Mistake 1 – He kept asking for dinner and I thought he’s making an excuse to escape homework, he’s done that in the past. In any case, how can one still be hungry after having so much chicken! It’s protein, isn’t it supposed to fill you up? He was cranky, unmanageable and pretty much refused to write a single word. I scolded him at the top of my voice while feeding him dinner (feeding him is something I rarely ever do) and despite my bitter words, he cheered up. I was proud of myself for being a ‘good’ bad cop.

In retrospect I realised it wasn’t my scolding that did it, it was food going into his system which did the trick. Yes an 8 year old, after playing for 7-8 hours, can be that hungry. And I thought I knew it all!

Mistake 2 – Kabir asked for a break after finishing his first bit of homework. I refused to oblige. And then he started complaining about pain near his waist. Since I was fuming already, I didn’t believe him and thought he is complaining of a stitch probably because of all the food he gobbled up so quickly. But no he wasn’t. He lifted his tee and there was a big fresh wound from his fall at the park.

I thought I will never fall in to this trap of disregarding something just because it is a child who is saying it. But I did. A lesson I wouldn’t forget for a long time to come.

 

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Are you mom enough?

For the soul, Parenting - Anupriya kapur - August 20, 2015

When I got pregnant (really really long back that is) and people got to know that I’m, something around me had changed. My every single step was closely watched by people who genuinely care and people who don’t.

Everyone had an opinion and they made it a point to let me know. It was all about how healthy/pale I looked, how I plan to give birth (natural or c-sec), how prepared I was to nurture the baby, do I plan to breastfeed or not, chose cloth nappies over diapers, plan to cradle the baby to sleep or let it cry itself to sleep, the list was endless. But even after 8 years of giving birth some of those things have stayed with me.

My pregnancy wasn’t very pleasant and I had gestational diabetes in the 3rd trimester. I was stupidly hell bent on giving birth naturally because I wanted to prove a lot of people wrong (that I was too thin so c-sec is the only option! and I fell for it!). I managed alright with epidural to my rescue. I was lauded for having a “normal” delivery. And I wonder why and how “natural” became “normal”. Aren’t we being condescending towards women who have to or choose c-sec over natural birth? And what did I do special by giving birth the way it should be that it became special? “Natural or c-sec?”, why do we women ask each other this very irrelevant question?

Because of post-delivery complications, I had a HB count of 5 and I was on strong medication, I could hardly breastfeed. My son refused to latch on, no matter how hard I tried. I finally gave up (after pumping milk from my breasts after a month) as I wasn’t getting any rest I needed to recuperate. I would have killed myself if I hadn’t stopped trying. But everyone around me (including strangers in a mall) started looking down upon me like I was committing the biggest crime in the world by putting my son on formula. It took me months to get over that guilt.

During the whole process of pregnancy and giving birth, a woman is struggling with so much – getting to know organs that she didn’t know existed, engorged breasts, continued bleeding, a stomach which looks like a burst balloon, stretch marks, smell of curdled milk, sleep deprivation, baby’s farts (which can be quite explosive), it’s all so overwhelming and at least one thing we can do is be tolerant, keep our opinions to ourselves (unless we see someone doing something which a hazardous to the mother and/or baby) and let her experience her own journey the way she wants to. At some point, aren’t we all in the same boat in any case?

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Why Mom Runs?

Marathons, Parenting - Anupriya kapur - August 13, 2015

Now that the “running season” has started and most of us are out on long runs during weekends, it got me wondering how our kids really view us and our running. What exactly is their perspective on this little hobby of ours! So I asked ten runner moms and this is what their little ones had to say. I can’t deny I had fun making this post. Cute and candid responses 🙂

Please click on the artwork to read, it will open up and click on it again to enlarge (this is the best I could do, sorry for the inconvenience!)
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Just in case you are not able to click the image, here’s the text –

Vaishali Kasture   Son (7) – Mom runs because it makes her very happy.

Seema Pillai Daughter (11)“Office is boring – so you want to have some fun”. Son (13) — ” Because you want to be fit and happy”.

Priyanka Sehgal Mehta  Son (8) – because she wants to be fit.  Daughter (5) – because she wants to bring medals and certificates home.

Preeti Daughter (11) “My mom suffers from a disease known as mad person disease. She claims she runs to keep the craziness away. Which sort of proves my point about mad person disease. My message to all you kids out there who have moms who run – I feel you”

Sangeeta Son (11) Because she likes to run and so that no clothes are SMALL for her.

Sonia Son (11 ) She is always running against time to manage home and work. Now she runs on roads to help her remain fit, release her tension and encourage others.

Tanya  Daughter (4.5) – She likes to run because she likes to eat well and sleep well and then become strong.

Nipa Daughter (10) – to escape from her kids, but we always catch up. Son (8) To stay healthy and be able to keep up with us.

Sayuri Son (10)  because she not get angry on me. 2) because she likes to wear running clothes. 3) because she like to be fitness.

 

 

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Kurtaj Hapi

Parenting - Anupriya kapur - August 10, 2015

Sex Shop Satis

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Connect before you correct

For the soul, Parenting - Anupriya kapur - July 1, 2015

About a year back my Macbook stopped working. Even though it was quite old, I didn’t expect it to go kaput just like that. I asked my son, who uses the laptop sometimes to watch Minecraft (ugh!), if anything went wrong. He simply said “no”. I believed him. On further probing I got to know from my house help a day later that he had dropped a glass of water on it. It was too late to save the laptop. Apart from losing my son’s precious baby pictures, I was worried about the fact that my son was scared of admitting his mistake. All this while, I was under the impression that I have managed to keep the gates of communication open. That he would tell me everything without any fear of consequences. He had lied to me, acting out of fear rather than love. It made me very sad. Reality can hit you in so many ways.

Punishing my son for breaking expensive things or even stuff that I cherish is something I have never done. Then why would he lie to me? Probably because of his fear of disappointing me and not meeting my expectations.

I don’t remember where I had read “connect before you correct” but it worked beautifully. I sat down and had a calm conversation with him, where I expressed my concern. When he felt understood and accepted, and knew I was on his side, he owned up. Despite the protective environment we try to provide, a child goes through a lot every day. A lot of humiliation too where he ends up feeling small or incapable. The pent up anger or frustration (though not very apparent) comes out in some shape, manner or form. I have come to a realisation that it’s the connection which works over everything else. At least, till the next reality check 🙂

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