Posts for motherhood

A breastfeeding mom needs all your support

Parenting - Anupriya kapur - August 14, 2017

All of us know that breastfeeding a baby at least for the first six months of her/his life is most crucial and important thing for a mom to do. A mother’s breast milk is tailored specially to suit her baby’s needs. It contains antibodies that can help your baby fight off viruses and bacteria.

But benefits of breastfeeding are not limited to just for that period of time, it helps a child much later in life, too! It can help children avoid a lot of diseases that strike later in life, such as type 1 and type 2 diabetes, high cholesterol, and inflammatory bowel disease and high blood pressure! Now, why would you want to increase the risk of your child being sick by not breastfeeding? Among other perks are a developing a better understanding and bond with your baby, a better recovery for the mommy and it’s easier than other methods! Continue Reading

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Me and my mom guilt

Parenting, Uncategorized - Anupriya kapur - November 22, 2016

I have been very guilty lately. After 7 long years of not working and only nurturing, I had decided that I will work from home so I can be around my son. I tried my hand at commercial baking and didn’t enjoy it as much.  I switched to handling social media content as a freelancer. The work gives me a lot of flexibility and leaves me with enough room for my blog. Sharing my life experiences is what sustains my soul. At the same time, the blog takes a lot from me. I need to attend events for ideas, do shoots and be on the go. I feel guilty about not baking enough, cooking enough, keeping the house beautiful, keeping my accounts updated, the list is endless. On top of that as much as I try, the ‘you-don’t-spend-enough-time-with-me’ remarks from my son kill me. Did I mention that my father says I don’t spend enough time on correcting my son’s spellings, maths and diet! Continue Reading

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Get your brave on

Fitness, Fitness related, For the soul, Parenting - Anupriya kapur - January 2, 2016

When I became a mother 8 years back, it was a validation of my existence. It was as if I got to justify my right to occupy space on this earth in that very moment. And I lost myself in motherhood. The best way to describe it would be that I started “decaying in the gentle state of happiness” (quote borrowed from my favourite book). The only thing was that I wasn’t happy. I was making myself believe that I was. This realisation made me restless and I didn’t know what to do. To a lot of people, my life might have even seemed ideal. But I was being pulled in to a deep dark hole of misery and self pity. And I started finding comfort there. I saw myself as completely worthless once my son started spending more time in school and the park. I became extremely negative and didn’t think I was capable of anything including being a good mother.

Running saved me a lot of times but an injury took that away from me (for a few months) and that’s when I hit rock bottom. I realised that my home baking venture which had started as love for baking turned into waiting for appreciation from others. So when anyone smirked at my idea of baking as a business, it deeply affected me. I had never believed in New Year resolutions till then and was one of those people who make light of it. But two years back on this day, I decided that the only way to save myself was to turn my life around. I didn’t share my resolve with anyone as I was scared of being made fun of. No one took me seriously in any case. I was supposed to be this happy-go-lucky person with whom nothing could ever go wrong and could never be lost. It was a tough call to give up baking. I started meditating at home for 20 minutes on my own every day (Pranic Healing). I used to think meditation is a fancy thing rich people did. I don’t think I have ever been more wrong about anything in my life. I started forgiving people and myself for everything wrong that had happened in the past. I cried a whole lot. But I felt strangely light. It’s tough to describe that feeling unless you go through it yourself. I started looking at myself and situations more objectively, became less critical of myself and prepared to fail.

Around that time, I also started my blog with the hope of inspiring women like me to do something for themselves and to save themselves. The blog got noticed in more than one way and I started getting a bit of content writing work. It is a constant struggle to write when you are low but I didn’t want to give up this time, this was my only chance. I started receiving mails/messages from a lot of people(men and women both) that my blog is inspiring them to take up fitness/running and to revive their passion, which inspired me further to keep at it. I also realised that with so much happening I started to become a more understanding mother. And now all I want for my son is to feel loved and create his own journey.

In 2015, I got a lot of content writing work, I blogged more frequently, took good care of my son, have done several races (injury free!) – 2 full marathons, several half marathons, several 10kms, paced at Bengaluru marathon and my blog got covered in a national daily 🙂

I might not have achieved anything significant but enough to keep me going. At times, I feel a strong pull to go back in to the dark hole and trust me it’s very tempting but I have managed to kick its butt on most occasions and will continue to do so.  But it all started with one resolution on a cold winter evening and some very supportive people.

You might also like https://momontherun.in/a-33-year-old-monk/

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The picture perfect mom!

For the soul, Parenting - Anupriya kapur - June 3, 2015

As mothers we are constantly berating ourselves for not being good enough and for not doing enough. And social media only makes it worse. It’s constantly bombarding us with family vacation pictures, outings, birthday party pictures and now mark sheets (thankfully I don’t have to deal with it yet). What we don’t see is how much time, effort, scolding it took to get the kids beach ready or how cranky the host got at the end of the party waiting for the last guests to leave. What we see instead is the proud smiles with the sand castle and a mom with perfectly done up hair and make-up with pretty pink balloons as the back drop. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying it’s all fake but the fact remains that it’s not all perfect either. What we get to see is the filtered reality of other moms while experiencing our own unfiltered often frustrating reality.

I have learned it the hard way that like my child shouldn’t be forced to do anything or be someone he’s not, I shouldn’t try to force myself to be someone I’m not. I’m terrible at organising birthday parties. I get very jittery and nervous. But each and every year, on my son’s birthday, I tried. It always left me and my son exhausted (the pictures speak a different story, of course). He would be as overwhelmed as I would be. All I could think of was cosying up with him, wearing my pajamas, with a cup of coffee in my hands. I love my son to bits and want him to be happy on his birthday but now I realise there are many more ways of doing it rather than giving into what everyone else is doing.  I don’t have to keep telling myself that I’m not being a good mother because I don’t know how not to be flustered with 20 children screaming around me and me failing to socialise with other moms with all the chaos around. It doesn’t make me a bad mother if I’m not able to socialise with other moms on play dates. I come from a small town upbringing and have always struggled with big city ways of socialising. But it’s ok to not conform and take a step back and question yourself as to what is controlling your actions.

I wonder what makes us take motherhood so seriously that we question, doubt, weigh even the smallest action and its impact. I’m shaping a life but in the process of trying to “fit in” and what is considered “good”, am I not forgetting to have fun with my son on these occasions and limiting my experiences by constantly trying to control it.

 

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