“You Don’t Have to Be Pretty. You don’t owe prettiness to anyone. Not to your boyfriend/spouse/partner, not to your co-workers, especially not to random men on the street. You don’t owe it to your mother, you don’t owe it to your children, you don’t owe it to civilization in general. Prettiness is not a rent you pay for occupying a space marked ‘female.’- Erin McKean
I’m someone who has been fighting body image issues all my life, and probably that’s why every word of this quote resonates with me. And I’m sure most women at some level fight these issues everyday – intensity might vary – the action and reaction might vary. And at times we don’t even know that we have these issues as it’s so deep rooted, so part of us. It slowly eats up our self esteem making us believe that we aren’t good enough on our own. That we need someone to salvage us. We end up spending half our lives pleasing others and some of us, our whole lives. We forget to love ourselves. And there can’t be bigger disservice than that. And I know it because I have started loving myself a bit after all these years of hating myself, and it’s the most beautiful feeling.
It took a lot of courage to get a pic clicked so up close and even more to share it. But the more I express, the more it liberates me; the more I share, the more I feel comfortable in my own skin. Be yourself. Love yourself.
4 Comments
I’m so glad you wrote this. Thank you. Yes, it’s so deep rooted in us to believe that for women, looking pretty or even constantly trying to look pretty is a duty. I stopped ‘trying’ to look pretty some time back, unless I really wanted to and it has been one of the most liberating experiences of my life. As a policy, now I consciously refrain from judging a person by what he/she is wearing and don’t comment on a dress unless I want to objectively analyse just the dress and not paint the person’s image based on that dress. I do falter sometimes, but I’m much better. In this journey, I have realised, it is absolutely possible to have an interest in looking good without one’s self esteem being damaged and have opinions about what looks good and what doesn’t and yet not judge a person based on what she’s wearing or how she’s looking. Thoughts?
Hi Sonam, I’m sorry for the late response. I agree with every word you said. I think age brings that freedom when we realise how much time we wasted looking pretty for others and probably that’s why the unhappiness. And yes, I too try and not judge. It’s tough as I’ve grown up doing that and seeing everyone do that so constantly correcting myself is the one way. And looking good/groomed is essential as per me as long as I’m doing it for myself.
Hi Anupriya , Thank u so much for writing this article. I am a teenager and I constantly go through serious body image issues. I have always tried to look pretty out of fear of what others would think of me. This article is an eye opener and has brought a lot of confidence in me and it means a lot to me. Thank u soo much.
Thank you so much Srinithi. I’m so glad you acknowledge the body image issue as that’s half the battle won already.Be confident and kind, everything else will fall in to place when you will love yourself just the way you are 🙂